His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
