He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
