Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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