Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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