so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
