just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just had sex on a roof
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
