at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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