Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
