i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
