He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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