Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
