Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
