i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
