She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
