Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
