he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
