My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
