Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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