Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
