Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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