Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
