Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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