i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
