whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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