I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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