she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
