Have you finally orgasmed yet?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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