yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.