Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance? http://tfl.nu/zhuo
  Replies (3) Good night (592) Bad night (2076)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You can't be serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right? (573): You can't be serious. http://tfl.nu/cmch
  Replies (58) Good night (3325) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/d8vw
  Replies (19) Good night (3550) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much http://tfl.nu/cn35
  Replies (30) Good night (1648) Bad night (5158)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one http://tfl.nu/hfte
  Replies (53) Good night (7555) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves. http://tfl.nu/q9n8
  Replies (26) Good night (4765) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/lstw
  Replies (13) Good night (4493) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned. http://tfl.nu/ygc3
  Replies (14) Good night (5378) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well. http://tfl.nu/7kjf
  Replies (14) Good night (6203) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself. http://tfl.nu/hfdh
  Replies (12) Good night (939) Bad night (7156)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral. http://tfl.nu/5sn1
  Replies (14) Good night (903) Bad night (4610)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature? http://tfl.nu/gy0w
  Replies (7) Good night (1313) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am? http://tfl.nu/68cf
  Replies (8) Good night (649) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.

  (1-808): View more from Hawaii

  To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen. (1-808): To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one. http://tfl.nu/g3ky
  Replies (9) Good night (1214) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow http://tfl.nu/y8rx
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (454)

Randomize