At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?