let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
