dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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