i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
