I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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