FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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