What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
