i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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