I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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