I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
