In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
