Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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