there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
