yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
