I wish i was in the wii world.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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