Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We left the knife in your bed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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