woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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