You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize