D3 body, D1 cock
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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