Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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