i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
