Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
