I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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