and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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