Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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