Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize