She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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