He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
