you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
