I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
