An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My pussy is not your playground.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
