Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
