Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i will never coherently bang her
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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