I wannas sexs uuuuu
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize