The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
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yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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