Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
