Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
