U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
