Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
