You're so nebulous sometimes
i need an iv and a liver transplant
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
